In honor of the fact that my classroom will be filled with the future leaders of America in so short a time, I figured I would compile a list to honor the tradition that will be starting again. Here are the top 15 student quotes from my fist year teaching, along with helpful gifs to show my reaction to these wise words.
- Me: “Your lack of effort is unnacceptable.”
“You seem stressed. I want you to go home, drink up a glass of wine, and take yourself a bubble bath.
2. Me: “Do you really think that was appropriate?”
“I don’t even know anymore.”
3. “Mrs. N On a scale of one to even, how much can’t you?
4. “Do you know why you’re so odd?”
“Because you can’t even.”
5. “It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.”
6. “This is SPARTA” whispered-shouted as he kicked the door closed.
7. Me: “I don’t think you could “even.”
“Oh, I could even. I could even all day if I wanted to; I’m full of even.”
8. A student sneezed in class.
Student: “Did you know that a sneeze it 1/8 of an orgasm?”
9. “Your sons are gonna look like Ellyn Degeneres.”
10. “Anglo-Saxons believed that if they died, they would go to Van Halen.”
11. “It’s so awkward when you’re up there laughing at your own jokes and we are just quiet.”
12. “If an illegal immigrant and a convicted sex offender got in a fight, would it be called Alien verses Predator?”
13. “I still don’t understand. We need an expert. Like a REAL English teacher.”
14. “Ugh. Reading. Who invented reading anyways?”
15. “That wife of bath. She a big booty ho.”